This is not a joke

This is a real live conversation I had with a student today.

Random girl I've never met walks into my classroom: I want candy.

Me: That's nice.

Random girl: You married?

Me: Yes

Random girl: Your husband come round here and see me he say, "oh i want her" (pointing to herself)

Me: Doubtful.

Random girl: How old are you?

Me: 30

Random girl: Yous look like a baby. Yous look but 22.

Me: That's nice.

Random girl: Ooo you husband old. He don't want me. He want my mama. Yah, yah he want my mama.

Me: ...

Ay Caramba

This lovely little creature decided to grace the floor of my classroom today. It caused more drama than any of the baby mama stories I've heard. Girls jumped on their desks screaming, others screamed in defense for this "cute" (seriously,
people?) bug. They definitely did not discuss a classroom management procedure for this.

Don't do the YMCA in Indiana

After a hot, McGrath-less summer we decided that a trip to Chicago was in order. We were a week from starting school and this would be our last hurrah. We headed out after my last day of work and drove the 14 hour stretch. This would allow us to arrive at about four a.m. Now, if any of you have ever lived with me you are aware of my many idiosyncrasies. One of the most glaring being that after 9 p.m., I kinda lose my mind. No alcohol necessary. I find everything, and I mean anything and everything, hilarious and have more energy than a three year old who just drank an entire pitcher of kool-aid. Now trap me in a car from 9 p.m. to 4 am. I know. My poor, poor husband. As we rolled through Indiana around 2:30 am, the elementary school dance jam YMCA graced the air waves. A dance party was in order. As I wildly busted out my 90's grooves, a blue and red flashing light appeared in our rear view mirror. Yes, despite Rory's fixed attention on the road, my dance moves caused the Indiana police force to believe we were very heavily under the influence of alcohol. My poor, poor husband. After being interrogated, it was determined that my dance moves were just a little out of control and we were let off with the warning that I better not bust a move while I was driving.

Top Two Reasons why I (Rory) Want to Live in Alabama.

I think that the following two videos speak for themselves.

And here's just one more reason why if you weren't completely convinced!

Top Two Reasons Why I (Lauren) Will Never Live in Alabama

I think that the following two videos speak for themselves.







If you get a chance watch the remix

Night Owl

I'm used to having a husband around to help me take care of myself. I know that sounds juvenile, but sometimes I forget. I get so wrapped up in reading that I forget to do normal things... like eat or sleep. This week he is starting his job in D.C. and I'm helping the fam out in Chicago, which means my sleeping habits have gone completely, utterly AWOL. Ever since I can remember I've been a night owl. As soon as I could pick up a book, I spent my nights with a flashlight reading until the batteries ran out or I feel asleep mid sentence. Then one day I got married. Just in case you were unaware, married people go to bed by 9:30. My apartment complex was silent by 10:00. Sometimes you'd think I lived in a geriatric ward. I tried to comply to the married-therefore-I-am-now-old-and-boring social rules and go to bed early, but 12:30 was the absolute earliest it ever got. Poor Rory. Rory left two days ago and since then I've read three going on four books, and now that I qualify as married-therefore-I-am-now-old-and-boring I don't even have to use a flashlight:)

Secret to Student Teaching Success

It was last November that I confided to my mother-in-law that I desperately wanted a Hannah Montana lunchbox. If you want to know the truth, I have never seen the Hannah Montana show or any of the High School Musical movies. It was pure peer pressure. I was employed at an elementary school as an ESL teacher, and I just wanted to fit in. Every student had Hannah Montana notebooks, folders, backpacks, t-shirts and stretchy pants. Since stretchy pants aren't really my thing, I knew I was destined to own a Hannah Montana lunchbox. Several months later I received a package containing just that! At this point I was student teaching at Timberline Middle School and wasn't sure how the students would react to my new shiny pink lunchbox sporting a Disney Channel character. But since it's kinda 'cool for school' and since I've always been kinda a rebel (it would be completely appropriate to scoff here) I decided to bring it anyways. Let me tell you, word spread like wildfire. Señora Hekking has a Hannah Montana lunchbox. I went from regular old teacher to the cool kid on the block. Within no time students where asking me for lunchbox-fashion advice and what Disney characters would be the next big thing. Thanks Susan! You rock!